Honest Abe in 2020
This week it's Abe Lincoln, Mitt Romney, the special meaning of 9/11 this year, and our look at what's on the bottom shelf. Our big get is my dear friend, the incomparable Missy Smith.
Lincoln, Revisited
This past weekend I took the opportunity to re-watch an underappreciated classic, Spielberg's Lincoln. Beyond the extraordinary performances by Daniel Day-Lewis and Sally Field, I was struck by Tommy Lee Jones as Congressman Thaddeus Stevens, a so-called “Radical Republican” whose sole purpose in politics is to seek emancipation for slavery. There is a poignant scene where Democrats feel they trapped Stevens into refusing to commit to equality for all races and not just under the law. Stevens knows that stepping into the trap means the end of the 13th Amendment and thus the end of his life’s work. Stevens demurs and walks out of the chamber where a supporter accosts him, expressing disgust and accuses Stevens of selling out and losing his soul.
“Have you lost your very soul? Is there nothing you won't say?
… For this amendment, for which I have worked all of my life, and for which countless colored men and women have fought and died in their hundreds of thousands of soldiers. No, sir, nope, it seems there's very nearly nothing I won't say.”
Not for the first time, I wonder how the partisan media would’ve treated Lincoln; Lincoln, who did everything to keep the Union together and eventually came to the conclusion that the total abolition of slavery was the only way to heal the nation and begin to do away with the main cause of our division.
Even worse, it’s impossible for us today to imagine having such a pragmatic leader who did what he thought was right for the entire nation instead of focusing just on the members of his own party.
Speaking of Bipartisanship
Senator Mitt Romney posted a statement on social media decrying the current poisonous environment in America. Commenters on both sides proceeded to make his point by replying with all sorts of venomous hate. Here is his statement:
What 9/11 Meant to Me this Year
On September 11, 2020 I found myself in a melancholy mood while spending the evening with my son and having a very in depth conversation about life and what it should mean in light of the men and women who died on that day 19 years earlier. I began sharing my thoughts with the world on Twitter in a stream of consciousness. Even though 9/11 was a month ago this conversation is fresh in my mind after celebrating my son’s 16th birthday last week.
Here is an annotated version of what I wrote that evening.
I've been trying to explain to my son that life goes by really fast. My life isn’t great right now. I'm 45 and don't remember things happening so quickly. My career is up in the air. People who once truly meant the world to me no longer do.
I never imagined that I'd reach this age and never accomplish any of my dreams. That I would just exist and each day would just go by like the rest. But I'm trying to encourage him to follow a different path. To make it count and not just exist like I have.
But I look around me and realize that this country is in a perilous place. So much hatred and division and I accept that I have played a part in that and it really hurts. I wanted to be more than that and I haven't been. But I am doing my best to teach him a better way. To learn from me.
But realizing the significance of today and comparing it to what my life has been to this point is totally depressing. On that day 19 years ago people literally died to save others while I have spent my career sowing hatred and division. And I hate it.
If you weren't alive or very aware on 9/11 it was an incredible time of togetherness and neighbors helping neighbors regardless of politics. And then we have today where everyone literally hates each other. And for what? What have we gained?
And I spent over 20 years of my life helping to create this environment. For what? I certainly didn't benefit in any way whatsoever. The biggest accomplishment of my career netted me $15k, and the guy I got elected told me to go away when it was over. Worth it? Not sure.
And I look around and see churches dividing. I see neighbors not speaking to each other. I see so much anger and I don't understand what the point was. Was winning the game worth destroying our communities?
And if I sacrificed all that I have in order to have played a part in creating the environment that we're in, isn't that worse? What does that make me? I don’t know.
But today is one of those days. I truly think about how those people on Flight 93 knew they were dying and still fought back. Was it worth it? I honestly don't have the answer. Probably not for my life, tbh.
The Big Get
Missy Smith has known me longer than nearly anyone. Friends since high school (I’m not telling how long ago that was), Missy has always been that very fun and outgoing friend who always made it a point to let you know that she cares. But, more than just being one of my oldest friends she has an interesting story to tell.
Missy’s replies are in italics.
1) When were you first diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and how did it affect your childhood?
I was just about a year old. So here's the deal. There are over a thousand different mutations of Cystic Fibrosis. Each presents in a different way and I was completely asymptomatic until I was a teenager. In many states now, it is common practice to test newborns for CF---because the earlier the treatment, the better the outcome. The only reason I was tested for CF was because my older sister Angie, had CF. It took them a very long time just to diagnose what was happening with her, so as a precaution , they tested me and even though the odds were only 1 in 4 I would have CF (the old Punnett square, you have to have 2 recessive genes- 25% chance you pick up zero of them, 50% chance you only pick up one of them and you are a carrier, and a 25% chance you would have CF by picking up both of the genes)
One of the early treatments for CF was postural drainage--- pounding on the chest to get the thick junk out of my lungs to prevent infections. My mom did that twice a day no.matter.what. She lost my sister and she was determined that she would not lose me. She still bugs me if I walk out the door without a coat, etc, lol. I never needed to be hospitalized for my CF until I was 19, so unlike most kids that have CF, I lived a relatively normal life.
2) Have you met the family of your donor or know anything about them? (Missy was the recipient of a double lung transplant in 2013.)
After my transplant, I immediately learned that my donor was a 31 year old woman from Kansas City (so I'm an honorary Chiefs fan ;-0 ) I know nothing else about her. I wrote a letter to her family thanking them for fulfilling her wishes and giving such a selfless sacrifice. I never heard back. My team told me that I should write again since it's been 6 years. I was told that sometimes the family is still grieving---sometimes they just want to know their loved one did some good but choose not to respond---- sometimes there is no family, sometimes they want to meet you and in the case of a friend of mine who had a transplant, they may even invite every year to their family reunion! In my case, I just thank this woman daily.
3) Did you start liking things that you didn't like prior to your transplant? Like food, for example?
After my transplant, the thing I noticed more than anything is an insane love of cooking. I decided I wanted to go to culinary school--- very passionately. So that one is kind of crazy. I have an interesting story from a nurse about her son who was a donor and cell memory. (stories she was told by the donor recipients) --- I can elaborate on that IF you care to hear---totally fascinating.
4) What is your first memory of me?
Oh my goodness! I thought you were cute! I know you will totally laugh me off because I know how you feel about your adolescence! You were so smart and I often thought you were just analyzing exactly how much of an airhead I was, lol. I had no idea how incredibly funny you would be. I recall first seeing you in the youth group big room down in the church basement on that ancient couch. You were tall then! I liked your dad, too. He was tough and intimidating--- like body builder scary, but I respected him and felt like he related to me. Your mom was sweet. In fact, I can't even visually picture her without a smile on her face !
5) What's your favorite thing about being Brendon's mom?
Being Brendon's mom is a gift and an experience I never thought I would have. I didn't have him until I was 30 and I never really heard that maternal clock ticking. My son's father went back to school for his Master's, I started with a new company, and we built a new home--- really living on the edge at that point--- so of course finding out I was pregnant was a real shock!! Now, I honestly don't know how I could live my life without that child. He is everything to me, including my motivation to stay alive, go through lung transplant, and keep fighting to stay on this side of the dirt!
6) Who had the best hair in the 90s, you or Jennifer Aniston?
Oh definitely Aniston! LOL I tried to do her look, but ended up with a Farrah Fawcett meets Martha Washington version..... in a pantsuit. That's me in real estate in the 90s, lol.
7) What's the one thing you remember most about your sister?
My sister Angie. I was young when she passed---still a toddler BUT we were opposites. All of my parent's friends tell me how she was the shy, (hid behind mom's skirts) sweet little girl. She was much prettier than me --- more graceful and girly. I was the freckled one, the social one with wild hair, and I was afraid of nothing and nobody. My mom had to worry about reeling me in--- there are stories--- stories of mom getting a call from the neighbor because I was standing on their AC until singing loudly. (I liked the acoustics!) I was the Ambassador of Courage for Riley Hospital for Children. I made speeches in front of crowds up to 10,000 people by the age of 10. I feel like Angie is with me sometimes.
8) Are you completely cured of CF?
So remember how I mentioned the thousand different mutations of CF? Researchers have found different aspects of CF more prevalent in different mutations. So some CF patients really struggle with their digestive system. Some struggle with their liver. Some it is primarily lungs. For me, it has always been primarily lungs and the new transplanted lungs don't get CF. I really have no clue WHY. However, I traded one disease for another and I'm living on gifted time! My transplant follows me and if I begin to develop other CF type challenges, I still have a relationship with the doctors here at IU. Pulmonary. It is amazing though---- all I have to do is pop a handful of toxic pills two times a day and I'm good to go. No more oxygen to carry ( I needed 6-8 liters pre transplant) I can run, bike, work all over my house, participate in everything with my son and family, at a lung function of 93-98%-) My lungs were at 18% at their last measured level pre-transplant! It's just amazing. I used to have to do hours of breathing treatments and weeks in the hospital. Transplant is a gift that is so hard to summarize .
9) Your favorite politician of all time and why?
Who is my favorite politician? Woooowwww. You're going to ask the Democrat? Hard to pick, but I liked Bill Clinton's charisma. I have to admit that the most prosperous days of my life were under his administration working in housing. However, the types of politicians I admire tend to be your moderates or mavericks. I hate the phrase RINO (Republican in name only) . Give me somebody any day that will stand up for their conscience and constituents---- and not tow a party line. I liked John McCain. I like Bill Weld. I also like Mitch Daniels after reading his book. He should have run for President. I know this will shock you (cue massive laughter,) but I am voting Biden/Harris in 2020. When I worked in real estate and read his books, I learned how Trump works---- he would pit both sides against each to weaken them and then swoop in and take over the deal. I feel like that is precisely what he's doing with Republicans and Democrats. I believe he's bad for America.
10) Tell me about meeting your husband Mike
So leading up to my transplant, I was in the middle of a long running divorce. My son's father and I separated in 2008 and then again in 2010 for good. I had sworn off dating after running right out and dating a carbon copy of my ex, lol. Also, when you are dying, your priorities tend to shift away from the dating scene! However, back when I worked for a local homebuilder, I had one particular superintendent who was my sidekick. They repeatedly put us together on the same team for 7 years. We were like brother and sister as much as Construction and Sales/Marketing can co-exist. I reconnected with him on FB around 2012 and discovered that he was one of 'those" on Facebook constantly posting sweaty oiled up gym photos, lol. I proceeded to make fun of him and found an ally--- this guy named Mike Smith that was hilarious. It turns out that they had been friends since childhood. When I began to get sicker--- he noticed my posts. He offered to come visit me in 2012, but I ignored his inbox message at the time. When I finally knew I was heading to St. Louis for transplant and I had to fundraise for my expenses not covered by insurance, he messaged me and told me that he wanted to do a benefit concert to raise money for me. He was a drummer in a local ZZ Top cover band! :-D Anyway, we talked a lot as he worked to organize the event. He had told her that he wanted to come out to St. Louis to meet me and pray for me. I called 3 days before his planned arrival time to tell him that I had just received the call for lungs! (April 1, 2013) and would not be able to entertain him if he came to visit. I went into surgery and woke up in the ICU. At this time, my relationship with my ex was still very tumultuous. (that's a book for me to write someday, lol) Anyway, my ex's name is Mike and so is my husband.) They told me when I was in ICU recovering less than 5 hours after my surgery, that "Mike" was here to see me. I figured , "Oh great he (my ex) must be here to finish the job himself and make sure I croak, lol" I declined to see him and then they clarified it was Mike Smith. THEN, I panicked because you know me---- I was certain I looked like crap and well, first impressions..... Nevertheless, I said ok... and he visited and prayed for me. I recall he smelled fantastic. He bonded with my son fast. My son thinks he is a superhero. Everything is Mike, Mike, Mike... they are best buddies. He kept coming back to St. Louis from Indy on his days off to help my mom and caregivers. He really was amazing and my inner skeptic told me it was too good to be true. Yet he kept passing every litmus test I consciously and subconsciously delivered. Long story short exactly a year and a half after we first met in person, we were married in Corolla, North Carolina at what is known as the Outer Banks. He's everything I didn't know I wanted or needed. My divorce lawyer (who's a close friend) told me that "Only you, Missy, would come back with new lungs and a boyfriend." haha! Mike has a much longer, more touching story about how we came to be. He prayed for me and has some amazing experiences and reassurances ----feeling like God was bringing us together in a big way. His mom says she could tell he loved me immediately despite being in the same boat as me professing loudly that 'we didn't want to be in a relationship for a very long time with another person!)
11) What is your favorite whiskey? If not, then do you have a favorite spirit?
Hmmmm. favorite whiskey? Maker's Mark. Favorite to cook with? Jack Daniels. Crown Royal and Coke share some interesting stories about me, lol. You know Marci? Well, I had too much of the Crown Coke right before my toast at her lavish upscale wedding reception. OOPS. Maid of Honor = hot mess story. If I'm in the liquor cabinet, I'm usually hunting down my flavored rums from Grand Cayman. :-) Love them.
On The Bottom Shelf
Old Grandad 80 Proof
I was afraid you guys would accuse me of just discussing bourbons that I like so I decided to talk about one that I really didn’t. And maybe I was pre-disposed to dislike this stuff due to the fact that I never really had much in the way of a positive experience with my grandfathers, but I really didn’t like this stuff.
In fairness, this is the entry level version of OGD (and devotees swear that the bottled in bond version is better) but this stuff is barely tolerable even mixed with ginger ale. And mixing with ginger ale makes nearly anything enjoyable. The nose on this bourbon is rye bread mixed with failure, and the opening sip is basically liquified rye bread with a hint of hatred and regret. And the irony is I like rye whiskeys (Bulleit Rye, as well as Jack Rye and Wild Turkey Rye are among my favorite whiskeys) but I’ve never enjoyed a traditional bourbon with a high-rye mash bill. In fact, the memory of my first sip of Old Overholt just made me gag.
Hard as I am trying I really can’t bring myself to give a full review of this stuff. Its basically a mix of corn and liquified rye bread, watered down to give a cheap flavor. It’s cheap, mass reduced garbage that isn’t worth your money. At this price point ($15 per bottle) you have far, far better options.
The Best Things I Saw This Week
Our new kitty, Oliver
Last week on his birthday, my son stayed up late to counsel his friend who has four Fs and is about to be kicked off the sports team that literally means everything to him. Then he took part of a birthday gift and bought his friend a gift to cheer him up.
That’s all, folks!
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Monticello was created by and published by Jacob Perry. Our editor and contributor is Jessica Redding. On social media: